Empathizing can be so powerful and definitely serves it’s purpose in times of need. I realize now that I feel uncomfortable receiving empathy when it comes to the “Oh’s,” and “Awe’s,” I get when I tell my “stories” about my life. I have this reaction where my my body language seems to be saying, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t coerce with my story. It’s not what’s ‘real’.”
When someone is showing me compassion, there seems to be a different quality to the “Oh’s,” and “Awe’s,”. There is love there while not a “buying into” the story I am telling or portraying, not a coercion or enabling, but a love that wants to know more, that wants to be there for me to heal and realize my best self fully.
Through this kind of experience, I realize, what is more powerful than just empathizing is holding an open space for the possibilities of what is real in the present experience I or someone else is having. What is the healing that wants to take place there? What is the evolution of the story?
It is not being harsh, detached or judgmental like, “When are you going to get over that?” It could be a strong, powerful and warrior-like stance: “Have you had enough of that yet?” or “What are you choosing in this moment?”, a question posed on day 4 of Deepak Chopra’s recent 21 Day Meditation Challenge on Abundance.
It is opening up a door of possibility by “holding space” that is clear and free of judgment and debris, listening intently, reflecting what we are hearing in ourselves or in someone else and bringing awareness to what holds or has a lot of energy in the conversation by noticing and communicating where the energy seems to be. We can look for or notice this energy in the tone and volume of voice, body language and gestures, where the eyes are looking and focusing in each moment all connected to what is being said, felt, and expressed in the moment.
This is Coaching for Transformation: the ability to BE a space for clear Source to come through so that all can be in light.
It is a space, a space of pure possibility.
So I will ask us all, from Deepak Chopra’s 21 Day Meditation Challenge, “What are you choosing in this moment?”
And, from me, What stories are you ready to re-write from your own life?