I lost my virginity at the age of 14. It wasn’t a horrible experience, thank god, but it was an unconscious decision.
The older guy I was going out with and I didn’t talk about it before hand. He didn’t ask whether I wanted to have sex with him and I didn’t say, “Yes, this is what I want. I’m ok with it. Let’s go for it.”
After a few months of going out and fooling around, one night it happened. I could tell what he was leading up to by his actions when we engaged sexually, but I didn’t have any vocabulary or confidence for communicating with myself about what I wanted and didn’t want at the time regarding sex, let alone communicating with him about it.
For years after that relationship ended, I continued to give myself to men unconsciously, both emotionally and sexually, who either weren’t going to be there for and with me in a committed relationship, who would take my love and eventually leave, or who wouldn’t be able to accept or receive the love I so badly wanted to give them.
Unfortunately, for me sex=love for many years.
Those were painful experiences (and sad to say, some not so far off in the distant past either).
What was I looking for?
The kind of love I always wanted to feel and receive ever since I was a young child.
Can you relate?
I wasn’t raised to know about my body as an adolescent and young woman. There was a lot of shame around sex, it was like a four letter word that no one really talked about. And sex-ed in school felt so embarrassing. All of us shameful about sex suddenly having to talk about sex out in the open? Oooh, that felt so uncomfortable! All of us just trying to act cool, like, “We got it all together.” “Yah, that, I know about that!”
What I really wanted? To feel safe and secure in talking about sex, in being sexual. I wanted to feel comfortable with sexual feelings and know how to channel and express this energy in a more comfortable and empowering way (though I certainly wasn’t aware of this then!).
I wanted to feel accepted as a young woman, respected as a young woman, welcomed in by my peers, both young men and young women. I wanted to feel like I was a part of life and I belonged to life, though most of the time I felt like an outsider and was full of self-loathing and hatred about myself and life.
As a grown woman, I realized, 20 years after that fateful night in my teens, that I was STILL not saying what I wanted to say to men, setting healthy boundaries in relationship to sex and sexuality with myself and men, feeling secure in my own sexiness or arousal, and feeling confident in my ability to choose and take action on what I wanted within my sexual relationships with myself and others.
(Are you feeling me?)
“Gosh, there’s something wrong here,” I thought in my early 30′s, and wondered how I could step into my power around my own sense of feminine essence, which for me embodies sexiness, juiciness, sensuality, confidence, empowerment, and more.
How I could be in my power in relationships with myself, men, and women, and how I could feel safe fully out in the open as a sensual, sexual woman in this day and age?
Fast forward a few years to the Spring of 2014 when The Sensual Body Movement was born. This movement was born out of a deep desire to embrace the divine feminine I feel coursing through my veins, express the sensuality I feel in myself and in life around me, and RECLAIM my sexuality from a clear, conscious, and empowering place, speaking my truth, asking for what I want and need, and also honoring others truths and needs too.
Let’s take the four letter word out of sex, shall we?
Let’s talk about it!
How The Sensual Body Movement Came to Be
Last fall, in 2013, I decided to FINALLY start teaching Ladies Latin Dance Styling like I’d always wanted to. For years I dreamed of creating a female dance troupe that was ON FIRE and rocking it left and right, here and there, with our sexy dance moves and routines. As time went on, though, and I was into the third session of Ladies Latin Styling classes, I was losing steam and the classes were too. I didn’t feel excited about just teaching Latin styling to women, and frankly, they didn’t seem that excited about just learning Ladies Latin styling either. I wanted to teach more Sensual Body Movement than strict, technical, Ladies Latin styling.
For years I’ve dreamed of moving more sensually in life. I know, some of you who know me may be saying, “But you already move so sensually!” Let me explain. I’ve dreamed of dancing sensually. Expressing myself in a form of what I call Sacred Dance for myself and for others, not in a stripper kind of way, though those fantasies have floated through my head. It’s more about expressing the full, real me in life, for me, and not worrying so much about what others think or how they feel about me.
It’s about dancing for ME. Doing what feels good to me and turns me on first.
(I used to think I had to please others first so that I could feel good about myself and my life. Do you feel this way sometimes?)
Now I know…
When I’m turned on, others are turned on.
My Definition of Turned On: Lit up, Alive, Juicy, Feeling It, Inspired, Out Loud, Sexy, Vivacious, On Fiyah, Sensitive, Bold, Open, Receptive, Present, Owning It, Sensual, In My Body.
A few years ago, I began to learn the art of something else: how to live INSIDE my body and fully embody myself.
How to create the unconditionally loving relationship I’ve always wanted with someone else with ME first!
And, as I’ve learned to create this loving relationship with myself, so has this part of me that wants to move sensually and support other women to move sensually too come to the foreground.
The moment I began Sensual Body Movement for Women, I realized there was something special here. The first class session sold out and I had mothers and daughters in the class and women ranging in age from their mid twenties to their 70′s! It was amazing and what they learned and I learned was highly transformative.
As time went on, I desired more, to share about my experiences, tips, and tools in self-pleasuring, to explore chair dancing, wall dancing, and was encouraged to teach floor dancing as well!
Women want to move in sexual, sensual ways, and I am here to support and guide this.
To create a space where women can get in touch with themselves, with their Divine core essence, and BE themselves fully is one of my goals in life!
The Sensual Body Movement is not just a growing style and body of movement and dance, it is a MOVEMENT and a way of living your life.
It is a CELEBRATION of core Divine Femininity.
It is an HONORING of core Divine Sexuality, Sacred Dance and Movement.
It is an EMBRACING of core Divine Sensuality.
It is So Many Things and I am specifically inviting you to come along and share this journey with me.
Are you Ready
Are you ready to reclaim your power in your own heart, in your own life, in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom, and in all of your relationships?
Are you ready to take full, 100%, self responsibility in your life around your actions and what you’re choosing?
Are you ready to step in, fully, to your Divine Femininity, and BE the Goddess you truly are, shine your light for all to see, and be empowered in your own self, your own life?
Are you willing, ready, and able to COMMIT to yourself and create that loving relationship with YOU, that you’ve always dreamed of having with others, FIRST?
If you have said YES to any of these questions, then you’re in the right place!
Ladies, I want you to hop on over to The Sensual Body Movement page on my website and sign up for this list to be a part of this Movement of Sensuality, Love, and Empowered, Clear, Embracing of Divine Femininity and Sexuality!
What You’ll Get
You can expect emails containing tips and tools on how to live a sensual, pleasure filled life, info on classes, programs, and ways you can engage in The Sensual Body Movement, Sensual Body Movement Dance Classes, Self-Pleasuring workshops with Sarah, and SO MUCH MORE!
Thank you for hearing this call.
Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for sharing your unique essence with the world! Lord knows we need it now more than ever!
A toast to living your Juicy, Vibrant, and ALIVE Life in ways that feel good to you!